What We Got Here...Is Failure to Communicate

I'm always amazed at people who visit another country and don't even try to speak the language. Of course here in this country we always have a debate about making English the official language. People on one side of the political spectrum think if you're here you ought to speak the language. People on the other go overboard and print every official document--at huge tax payer expense--in a spectrum of languages. I'm kind of in the middle. There is no question that people who can speak the language of whatever country they are in will do better in many ways. Therefore, people should try to learn the language as a matter of self preservation. However, I think in the spirit of decency, we shouldn't be too strident about refusing to communicate just because somebody comes from somewhere else and hasn't gotten the language just yet. People that I know who push the official language as English are often the first to get pissed when they go somewhere on a vacation and the people don't speak enough English. And these are many times the first people to hate the French because they don't kiss our asses to speak English--even when they might know it. There is a solution, learn some language.

Without some rudimentary language skills you will be doomed to being a tourist who looks at the people, much as a visitor in the zoo, and your travel experience will probably be limited to collecting sites. Yet, learn a little language and you can now become a part of the place you are visiting and maybe strike up an interesting conversation.

I will admit, Portuguese threw me a high and tight fastball. Looking at it on a page I was okay. But the second the people in Portugal spoke, I was hopelessly lost. Yet in Spain I was only lost for a day or two and it all started to click. I visited museums, churches, old forts, and ancient religious sites called dolmans, all in Spanish. Because my ex-wife and I at least tried, the Spanish people tried too and somewhere in between we actually had a terrific experience. In short, put out a little effort and you can improve your vacation to a real travel experience as compared to a tourist skimming of cheesy, and overly visited places you could have seen in a ViewMaster.

I am planning on Italy next fall and last year started trying to learn enough of the language to have a decent conversation with real Italians. I couldn't afford Rosetta Stone--half the price of an airline ticket--so I tried to DIY the whole thing. I have bought a pile of books on the language, one computer program, and several audio lessons. Let me save you a pile of money and recommend the best of what I've found.

As books go, I found the Barron's "Learn Italian the Fast and Fun Way" an excellent and fun book and the one I use most. It is very nicely presented with color drawings and practical lessons that you would probably use on a vacation. The problem with some of the other books was that there was too much emphasis on language and words you would probably never use. Like I can't imagine why I would need to know the Italian word for hippopotamus. Save you efforts for words you might just use.

As for audio lessons, I found the Dr. Blair's Italian excellent and extremely fun. Dr. Blair uses fun stories and situations with just the correct amount of repetitions that helped me learn quite a lot. And you will not get bored listening to the lessons over and over.

Another very useful resource was the iTouch application called "24/7 Tutor Italian 101." The audio helps with pronunciation. There is a flashcard element, multiple choice, fill-in, and puzzle. I learned a lot and had lost of fun doing it. And it's so easy to carry around and practice with only a few spare minutes wherever you are. Highly recommended.

Netflix is also a good resource. Watch some Italian films to get some idea of the music of Italian--or just about any of the common languages you are likely to encounter. For a real treat, try "The Good, The bad, and The Ugly" in it's original Italian. It's a kick and gives a whole knew perspective on the film.

Another good resource is adult education at one of the local high schools. These classes are frequently for vacationers and are very low cost as compared to college classes. This is the best way to learn the correct pronunciation--which is very tough to do with a book. It will also help you get over feeling self conscious.

And of course, for more practice, look at Yahoo International and read all the latest news and celebrity gossip in a cornucopia of languages.

If you can learn one romance language, then you can learn some of the others. Open your eyes and look a around. There are resources everywhere. Give it a try and you'll probably have an amazing travel experience. In my opinion there is no reason to visit another country and try to communicate by getting pissy and just speaking English slower and louder.

A Bunch of Feckin' Hoors

Man, that was one hell of a long drink. Actually, I had extreme responsibilities for many other things, including reading for my writer's group and actually producing something fresh for the same. So, although I have great plans for this blog, I will have to meet a few responsibilities first.

I was just starting to rip into the current trend in travel narratives when my traveling buddy called for a few drinks. She had all German beers because of an Oktoberfest special, but in honor of Ireland and my impending trip, I had Harp's Ale. Not at all bad considering I'm a wanker when it comes to beer.

Anyway, narcissism or whining about a lost love seems to be the trend in travel narratives. "My baby done left me, my life is shallow and fucked up, so let me run with the bulls or sleep with a few foreigners to find out who I am."  What the hell is wrong with a good old fashioned sense of adventure or plain old curiosity? Isn't that enough of a reason to explore and speak to interesting people in exotic places?

I have been to Spain, Portugal, and Gibralter, but the only form of self-discovery I engaged in was to discover that I did have a sense of adventure and was profoundly curious to visit more of Europe. And it wasn't just to look at a bunch of tourist sites or old castles. Even with the amazing castles, cathedrals, and the Rock of Gibralter itself, the most memorable parts of the trip were the people--even with a significant language barrier. There is something very magical about people who both stumble with each other's language, yet try and eventually succeed in communicating at the most basic level. What better way to dust off that old high school and street Spanish? Oh, and Mexican street Spanish will get you by in Spain, but the Spanish they speak in Spain seems less hurried and more melodic. It was beautiful. I still find myself wanting to say grathias. And in Portuguese, obrigado is such an easy and beautiful word to say. All the nasty things we have heard about the French? They do not apply to the Spanish or Portuguese people. I doubt the nastiness attributed to the French is accurate and hope to prove it to myself someday.

Okay, so who would I recommend for travel writers? Bill Bryson for "In a Sunburned Country." For Ireland and things Irish, Pete McCarthy in "McCarthy's Bar" and "The Road to McCarthy." McCarthy's writing was superb. I say was because I just found out Pete McCarthy passed away a few years ago from cancer. I was profoundly sad to learn that. First, that there would be no more books from him, and second because Pete McCarthy seemed like the kind of travelling buddy we would all wish for.

In fact, the title of today's entry is from "The Road to McCarthy." He's telling of an Irish song called "The Holy Ground" about an Irish port city where the wives of seafaring men bid their husbands a touching farewell. It was such a sweet song the Irish people sung it for the pope when he visited. But a crusty old Irishman tells McCarthy, "They were a bunch of feckin' hoors! Twas all brothels along here, a bit of a party for the randy auld sailors. Of course they don't like you saying it, but feck 'em, for it's the truth." Now how could you not want to sit and have pint with someone like that? That's what world travel is about. And if you still want to whine about the man or woman who did you wrong and try to discover the person you would have been had you not pissed it away in a relationship you probably held onto too long, well, feck off you snivelers.

What, Me Worry?

I hate to sound snarky and mean, but I hate even worse being made to feel guilty for wanting to see different parts of the world. I am not intending on destroying any rain forests or belching hydrocarbons out of my ass. I don't intend to adopt any ethnic children as a repentance for my American guilt, and I don't intend to do any sexual tourism. All I want to do is visit various places around the world and observe the way other people live their lives.

One of the most offensive aspects of travel narratives are the travel books where the traveler goes adventuring to find themselves. Let me try and understand that concept. Travelers go to another country to see people so the traveler can find themselves? They are the most important thing about travel? In my business as a licensed professional counselor we would call this narcissism. "You only exist so I can see my own reflection in you."

Gotta run. Meeting a friend to discuss Ireland. I will return to this topic next time. Narcissism and travel.